Flashback
by Midesko
Summary: He could remember every inch of exposed skin on him and he remembered the way his name sounded so, wanted, pleaded for, and needed. BeVin Ben/Kevin, rated T to be safe. Don't like Yaoi or the pairing, then don't read. One-shot!


No, I don't own Ben 10, Ben 10 Alien Force, any of its characters, the song "When I grow up" or the song "Ur so gay." Too bad for me.

...

Ben sat in his room with his head phones in his his ears and tapping his foot to the oddly catchy song that played. He was doing home work while checking his myspace, which admitted to no one that he he'd. He had a new friend request and the song on their profile caught his attention, and now he was listening to it over and over again. The music video was full of girls and other things that would catch a normal teenage boys eyes, but he just liked the song and he wondered why it made him feel strange.

_"When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be star, I wanna be in movies."_

It gave him a strange sense of boldness and a random scene played in his mind. He was walking up to Kevin and pushing him down on a bed that appeared out of nowhere and the song played in his head along with it. His eyes widend and he shook his head vigorously to remove all traces of the scene. He took the head phones out and blinked before running a hand trough his hair.

"W-what was that?" He'd never thought of Kevin in a romantic way before. Sure, he thought that the elder was decent looking, but he'd never stopped to think more of him. He didn't know what to make of his strange day dream and more over, what did he really think of Kevin?

A few days passed and Ben grew rather tense. He noticed that he had to spend a lot of his free time with him and time that wasn't spent with him was spent thinking about these newfound day (and sometimes night) dreams. As they days went, his dreams went further. It started with a shy touch, a hug or a kiss, but now, they were so much more detailed. Ben could clearly remember all the details, the noises that Kevin made, the faces that he was only shown in these fantasies. He could remember every inch of exposed skin on him and he remembered the way his name sounded so, wanted, pleaded for, and needed. It sounded so important coming from him. But, that's all they were... dreams, fantasies, nothing more but the things your mind come up with when you're lonely or craving the attention of that person.

After the weeks rolled by and he continued to keep the dreams to himself. It hurt him to watch Kevin throw his playful words at Gwen. He really envied her. She was what Ben found himself wishing to be, she was almost perfect and that's what Kevin wanted. Not him. No, that was wrong. Boys were supposed to be manly, go ask out girls and fix things. All those stereo types that Ben fell short of. He couldn't help but grow depressed as the time slowly passed him. He didn't even think of Julie anymore, just Kevin. Time healed all wounds right? Then why was it that the more time that passed, the pain only grew?

Gwen had asked him on several occasions what was wrong. He couldn't tell her. How do you say "Well, I think I might be gay and in love with the same person as you?" Even Kevin knew that something was wrong. And it hurt Ben to keep those shameful secrets from the one person that mattered the most. But he had to, to keep him around, he had to lie.

He did think that it was strange that he didn't find any other guys attractive, just Kevin. It was mostly the same with girls, there was only one or two that he thought were pretty, but he couldn't picture doing anything with them. Why was Kevin so special? What was it about him that made Ben feel so weird? Maybe it was just some awkward phase that some people went through, maybe it was his alien bloodline. Whatever it was, he wanted it to stop. The nights were the worst. They were so lonely, so cold and terrible.

_"You're so gay and you don't even like boys."_

Ben recently received an mp3 player from his parents, in hopes that he would cheer up. It did seem to help, somewhat. He loaded the small device with several love songs that he finally understood. All those songs that he'd heard through the years about love, heart break and loneliness. He understood them so well now. It helped him to know that so many others have felt the same pain that plagued his breaking heart. The songs were rock, pop metal, anything that caught his attention, old songs from old bands or new songs that he found from via radio. They were all love related, then again, what song wasn't?

He sat in the front seat and idly drank his smoothie that Kevin took him to get. He was surprised that Gwen wasn't around, and what was even stranger was that Kevin was driving him somewhere at the late hour. He felt awkward. Tension hung heavily in the car and neither said a word until Kevin parked the car. Ben looked out of the front window at the view. It was sort of like one of those make out places that you see in those romance movies, but the view of Bellwood was really amazing.

"Wow..." He unbuckled his seat belt and moved forward in his seat to get a better look of the seemingly bright city. Kevin took his own seat belt off and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his seat.

"So whats been buggin' you Tennyson?..." He'd asked several times before, but this time he was more serious and annoyed. Ben frowned for a second and put on a false smile.

"What're you talking about?" Kevin scowled at his answer.

"You know what Tennyson! You've been actin' sad and mopey for weeks and frankly, I'm tired of it!" Ben frowned again and leaned against the window.

"It's nothing..."

"Nothin' has to be a lot of somethin' if it's making the normally giddy and hyper Tennyson I know, into a sad sack."

"There's nothing anyone can do about it." Ben sighed and tried to avoid giving him any hints as to the real reason why he was depressed. Kevin groaned out of aggravation and spoke again.

"I could, if I knew the problem!" He looked away and continued to scowel. Ben sighed again at his pushiness.

"I'm just... in love..." Kevin immediately softened up and gave him a pity filled "Oh." Ben stared outside and started to feel even worse.

"That's everybody's problem." Ben scoffed and turned to him.

"I open up to you and that's how you're gonna treat me?! It's not like you'd understand!" He opened the door and got out, slamming it shut behind him as he stormed off. Kevin groaned and followed him on foot.

"I do get it Ben!" He crossed his arms and walked behind him while frowning angrily. Ben turned around and glared at him.

"No! You don't! You're in love with a girl! My problem is so much worse!" Kevin's eyes widened and he put his arms down.

"Girl? Gwen? Pff, she wishes." He continued to frown and he looked down at the city. Ben raised a brow at him, he felt relieved yet at the same time worried. If it wasn't Gwen, then it was someone that he didn't know. Ben sat on the ground and hugged his knees, Kevin sat next to him and continued to stare at the city.

"If it's not Gwen... Then who?"

"None of your business Tennyson..." Ben saw that coming, but he still wanted to know.

"I'll tell you, if you tell me." He looked over to the raven in hopes that he'd give in. To his surprise, Kevin agreed.

"You really wanna know? Fine. ..." Kevin hesitated and seemed almost scared to tell, Ben just assumed that it was because he hadn't told anyone before.

"I, love... you..." As soon as he finished he started talking about how he knew it was weird and before he could finish rambling he was interrupted be Ben. He'd closed his eyes tightly and almost yelled when he spoke.

"I love Kevin!..." He didn't pay attention to who ever Kevin said he was in love with, because he was busy hurridly trying to find out how to say his. But, luckily Kevin heard him over his own garbled words and pulled him into a kiss.

...

Ben's eyes widened and he sat up. He pushed his hair out of his face and raised a brow at the dream.

"Woah... Deja Vu..." He looked to his side at the shirtless figure next to him that was scowling because he moved. He smirked down at Kevin and pulled the blanket up higher.

"I just had a dream of how we confessed awhile back." Kevin continued to frown at him.

"That's great, I don't care. Now get back down here, it's freezing in your room!" Ben chuckled lightly and laid back down, his body warmed up immediately when he was embraced and he closed his eyes to fall back asleep.

...

Since Quimbelork has been so busy, I decided to write down my little plot bunny that came to me while listening to "When I grow up."

So this one-shots for you Quimmy! opens can of coke and drinks it Without your awesome BeVin-ness, I don't think out OTP would survive! 3


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